the answer is not to fly to tibet, or become a nun

even though i want to, often.

I want to be real.

You. I don't understand you. I really don't. What are you living for? I've tried, but I'm wanting to stop trying. I think it's too confusing, and it hurts my neck.

You see, when I look back, I remember only unending joy, love, the good times. But my heart aches in ways I've never known it could. Why? Does yours ache too? Or are you numb to life now. Maybe it's my time now to love, but love with restraint and patience. Patience?!

I went to this one place. It was lovely. But I saw you all over the city, like a dream that haunted me once I woke up.

I see your face around town, all the time. God, you're not perfect, but all I see is you. I walk into a pub in an airport, and see a baseball game being played between two particular cities. It seemed like every cafe I walked into played a song that you once sent me. Mundane pieces of life remind me of letters and conversations we shared. I see an old couple, and it grips my heart, and then tears well up in my eyes, because I could picture us.

I hope you're moving on.

Please forget me.

Why do I feel so much? Care so much. Think too much. Am I too much?

No, I'm a gem. I'm one of a kind. I will wait for someone out there who will be faithful, constant, and who will stand by their words. It's a shame, because I'm already gone.